Lesser of two evils or everything happening for a reason?

Mmmk. So I’m finally back where this blog started … which would mean the blog is ending … wait that can’t be right. Did the blog itself even start? Yes I have two weeks of Euro-Travel etc. to catch up on but I’ll have plenty of time for that given my flight schedule today.

The theme of this quickie is about LaGuardia Airport. After the incident in England I was telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I had no idea why the fuck I was scheduled to go to LaGuardia for my departure from New York when it has NO non-stops (to my knowledge or available) on American to LAX. Then when the shit hit the fan and it was evident the bigger the airport you were in the earlier you had to be at the airport, I realized it was fate that I was in a smaller airport to be happier in the long run.

Not so. I figured what the hell, play on the safe side and get there SUPER early. So for a 2:20 flight I scheduled transportation at 10:30 A in the city to get me there with enough time to avert any issues. Any other extra time could be spent lounging in a massage chair and typing this lovely entry.

WELL … even the premium Check-In was booked to the door. Shockingly though all this extra time at ticketing left the security lines on most of the concourses WIIIIIIIIIDE open. UNFORTUNATELY my flight left Concourse C. One would expect all of American’s flights to leave the same concourse especially if they were splitting said concourse with another airline. If all of American’s flights were on the same concourse then one could deduce their frequent flyer’s lounge would be in said concourse. So much for deductive reasoning.

Apparently despite the major flight and connection cities being in concourse C, the Admiralty Club is naturally in concourse D. This of course meant that after going through security in C and having one of my favorite porns scrutinized by an amused (and I think secretly gay) security agent, I had to leave said security area and now go through D.

This usually wouldn’t bother me as I have a gotten traveling (and security check points) down to a science until today. My typical travel outfit is a t-shirt, shorts or pants depending on the weather, and thin soled flip flop sandals (no matter what the weather). No belt. No keys. No sunglasses. Cell phone already stored in carry-on. The only fuss I make at security is taking the laptop out. Otherwise I’m typically ready to walk right through.

Now apparently even my flip flops are under scrutiny because magically they now have the ability to contain plastique explosive. They couldn’t before when the shoe restrictions are on, they couldn’t DURING the massive shoe restrictions, but now they apparently have the ability. Both times (and a third when I go back into C) I will have to walk on that nasty ass carpet. Needless to say two things will come of this development:

I will be forwarding my podiatry bills to President Bush-Whacked
I will no longer be receiving inquiries from foot-fetish clients

Yes yes yes … certain people are probably already writing their posts about Scott Adler the drama queen who can’t take a little walking and is sooooo high maintenance yadda yadda. Get over it. LOL. It’s a joke and merely for other’s amusement and information. If anything I’m being altruistic by making sure other people don’t make the same mistake.

Moral of the Story: Get to your flight early … but know exactly where you’ll be spending your time till you take off. AND carry-on’s WITHOUT liquid really are so much lighter.

Now back to the massage chair … which for the record if you haven’t tried one of those $1 airport massage chairs … it really will be one of the best dollars you’ve ever spent in an airport.