Premonition ...

... last night I saw tried to watch the movie Premonition but I kept getting distracted. Who knew that my personal premonition of the evening would come to fruition. More to come ... literally and figuratively.

Stolen from ...

....Angel Fucking Benton.... which was stolen from Brandon Fucking Baker

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from El Paso to San Diego.

The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy walked back to the flight attendant and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The boy said, "Yes, she did."

"Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."

I fell out of my bed I was laughing so hard. Thanks guys :)

Parodies a Plenty

To give you an idea of what happens in my apartment during moments of SHEER unadulterated boredom -- this is what happened today:

Justin and I both have a flair for the dramatic so we enjoy quoting lots of movies and occasionally breaking into awful over the top songs. Today was definitely no different. Typically our favorites are Troop Beverly Hills, First Wives Club, and The Devil Wears Prada. Musically Justin has been breaking out into renditions of Effie White from Dream Girls. Personally, I can't carry a tune in a bucket -- but I do what I can to keep up.

Anyway, he flounced into my room onto my bed (mine is higher up and more comfy so he apparently prefers it) while starting with the "tweaked" first line of a favorite Disney song of ours, "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid.

"The only way to get what you want is to become a hooker yourself." Banter about other words for different parts of the song started and after the dying laughter stopped we were searching out a template to re-write the song.

DISCLAIMER: SATIRE PEOPLE. SATIRE. I know there are people out there that love to rip me a new one whenever possible or hold things against me. This is all pure humor meant for people with the ability to laugh at themselves. Nothing is meant offensively and it pokes fun of people on both sides of the fence. If people that I respect their objectivity find offense in it I will gladly take it down and make an apology. I can totally see how some MIGHT get mad at it but it's all a parody in good fun.

Before people go attacking Justin and I, mainly me, lighten up and enjoy the song for what it is -- a parody of one of Disney's best known songs geared toward the escorting community. There are so many aspects to this community, there are social perceptions of what it is and what it really is. There is companionship and there is "just get down to it" sex. I don't think of anyone negatively and I certainly do not distribute a client blackbook.

DISCLAIMER II: As someone has pointed out to me, not EVERYBODY (though I find this hard to believe) has heard Disney's Song "Poor Unfortunate Souls" so a link to the YouTube of the original is at the bottom. It will be quite difficult to understand the music and beat of the song without it.


And without further ado, I give you ....

"Poor Unfortunate Whores"

ADLER

The only way to get what you want is to become a hooker yourself.

FRESH MEAT

Can you do that?

ADLER

My dear, sweet child.

That's what I do. It's what I live for.

To help unfortunate poor folk like yourself.

Poor twinks with no one else to turn to.

I admit that in the past I've been expensive

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, high priced

But you'll find that nowadays

I'm mentoring my gays

to suck off, get on their backs, and maybe top

True yes

And I fortunately know a couple clients

It's a black book that I always have possessed

And lil’ twinkie, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the lawyers, the doctors, and the rest (they love it)

Poor unfortunate whores

In debt, in need

This one longing to be richer

That one wants to get the car

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate whores

So young, so new

They come flocking to my bedroom

Crying, "Clients, Adler, please!"

And I help them!

Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't raise their price

And I'm afraid I had to bounce them on my pole

Though I’ve never heard complaints

I had cause to use restraints

On those poor unfortunate whores.

Have we got a deal?

FRESH MEAT

If I become a hooker, I'll never have a chance at a career in acting or politics again.

ADLER

But you'll have your cash, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh. Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment.

FRESH MEAT

But I don't have-

ADLER

I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!

What I want from you is - your ass.

FRESH MEAT

But without my ass, how can I-

ADLER

You'll have your dick, your pretty face.

And don't underestimate the importance of fellatio, ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a twink who chit chats is a bore!

Yet in bed it's much prefered for hookers not to say a word

Have him cum, and then my dear you’re out the door!

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation

Most clients will avoid it if they can

But they’ll dote and swoon and fawn

‘Til accounts are overdrawn

I’ll teach you how to work them here’s the plan!

Come on you poor unfortunate whore

Go ahead!

Make your choice!

I'm a very busy hooker and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your ass!

You poor unfortunate whore

It’s grand, go screw

If you want an easy life, my sweet

You've got to screw the troll

Take condoms and some lube

And go ahead and sell your soul
Daddy, Ozzy, now I've got him, boys

This whore is on a roll

This poor unfortunate whoooooooooooooooore

Prada and Gucci

Come winds of the Hollywood Sea

Vuitton and Calvin Klein

Max out American Express

La Dolce to me

Now ... suck!

FRESH MEAT

Aah ah ah .... ::mumble:: ::mumble::

ADLER

Keep sucking!

So again ... here's the original if you need the music and context ;)

::yawn:: So it's been SLIGHTLY overdue

I apologize for this blog taking so long to get out … I will do my best to write more often and promptly. In addition I also apologize for not writing the apparently long awaited Part II of the Rentboy Cruise. I have the notes so it will be a thorough entry in the next week or so.

“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.” ~Anonymous

The escorting community lost several of its members in the past month. Tragically, Both Lynden Thomas of DC and Jason Rylee ofBoston died before their time and they will be missed. It’s not my practice to dwell on the details or eulogize especially when I wasn’t as close to either as many others were. However, I will say that my experiences with both were always positive and they were wonderful spirits with so much life ahead of them.

As we come again to the anniversary of the HooBoy’s passing it is my deepest hope that the three of them are on a cloud somewhere discussing old times, making fun of our occasional pettiness and enjoying a heavenly cocktail of their choice as they enjoy eternity. Rest in Peace.

The quote above symbolizes a consistent reminder of our mortality on this earth. As morbid as it seems, it’s an unfortunate theme constantly running through my mind. Some of my favorite quotes and meditations focus on the realization of how precious life is and how often we focus on the small insignificant things that really don’t matter. We need to look at the forest rather than a single tree. Then again there are rather large aspects of our lives that we wish we could change but it’s too late. As a result we focus on these problems and ignore the things that would otherwise make us happy.

I’ve had plenty of people in the community and the world I live in attack me for the choices I’ve made. I take solace in knowing that the choices I’ve made ultimately affect myself alone and that the only one who has the right to regret or be upset is me. Perhaps some of my choices will affect me negatively in the future but right now I’m living my life the way I want to and I’m enjoying every moment of it.

There are limits I set for myself. Pornographic movies and the like are some of them. It’s by no means a judgment, it’s just something that is a little too permanent for me. That and I’m already so paranoid about a single image of me and how it looks let alone at 30 frames per second. However, one does not need to be IN Porn to appreciate the Gay Porn Awards and enjoy them as I did....thoroughly.

San Francisco is truly a magical city and it shocks me that I have lived so close and spent so little time there. My neighbor to the north has interesting architecture, fascinating people, great shopping, and let’s not forget newly retired Jesse Dane. I arrived by plane, came in by train, and finalized the trip in by bus to his apartment. We spent the afternoon chatting and hanging out until I was ready to put my all access membership to Equinox to good use instead of just using it in LA and NYC as I had thus far.

The Equinox in San Francisco is a unique one considering its location and thus its vibe. As trendy chic as the gym chain is, this Equinox was efficient and businessy. Having taken over an old bank the outside has Rocky Balboa steps that lead into a vast open room with a gorgeous sky light and oversized analog clock on the wall. A trip downstairs to the locker room puts you in the vault with the original safe door and cubicles presumably previously used as safety deposit rooms used for locker bays. Here’s the catch. Located in SF’s financial district, like most things there hours were only slightly off. Equinox’s hours are annoying for their dues as it is, but gyms that close at 9 during the week, 6 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday … well … let’s just say I knew my weekend was mapped out for me.

Since I get asked about the workouts I do a lot I’m going to try and start (presuming I actually post blogs more often) posting my favorite workout or two from that week. It’s easy to do so since it’s already typed out and on my iPod. For all you techies that didn’t know -- yes, you can put anything on your iPod. Just make it a .txt file, and open the iPod as a drive in your “explorer” and drop the file in your notes section. Eh Voila. Next time you use your iPod it will be in your Extras section under Notes. You can even make folders under there.

WORKOUT OF THE WEEK BLOG

Here’s the workout I did that day that kicked my backside so to speak:

Pull-Up 3/8
Wide Grip Pull-Down 3/8
Wide-Grip Row 3/8
Straight Arm Pull Down 3/8
Laying DB Pull Over 3/8
Seated Overhead DB 3/8
Wide Grip Upright Row 2/8

(The first number is amount of sets and the second is number of reps)

I get most of my workouts from Muscle and Fitness Magazine and a few others so I apologize if you’ve seen them before. Typically though I’ll mix and match from different workouts to combine something that works for me and use it for a month.

Getting back from the gym I bid adieu to Jesse and headed downtown to the Montgomery Palace to stay with my Gay Auntie. Everyone has a Gay Uncle but I’m lucky enough to have a Gay Auntie that gets killer Starwood rates, I’m truly blessed.

Bypassing the short (and from what I’d heard after the fact from most of the stars uneventful) pre parties for Falcon and Colt, I joined up with the gentlemen that make Rentboy run in hopes of eating at Osha, a happening Thai place in the neighborhood. I got there early and put our name down for a whopping 45 minute wait – that certainly wasn’t happening. Brandon Baker immediately looked around and made an executive decision that instead of dignified Thai we would have $3 tacos – I was perfectly fine with this new revelation.

From there we went to End Up to set up for the after party. Part of the excitement there was End Up’s first fore into the adventure that is patron bottle service. They had apparently never done it before and had commitments from Brandon that there would be two patrons spending a great deal of money thus bottle service was not only expected – it would be required.

One of the patrons was the infamous RussianRob. We have been bantering back and forth for eternity and decided that if given the chance (which we were) we would meet (which we did). Needless to say alcohol played it’s part and a bottle of Grey Goose later our small bottle service party of three included Chi Chi LaRue, Jason Seachrest, and a rotating party of porn stars including a personal LA favorite Tory Mason and the infamous Trevor Knight.

He’d be far more infamous in this blog if I bothered to print a Part II of the Rentboy cruise. New Years resolution … no really … get that blog out no matter how sparse … there are some good pictures.

As the liquor flowed Rob (an east coaster) learned the ugly truth about the West Coast … liquor stops at two. We were informed that if we didn’t finish the quarter bottle we had left it was going in the garbage. Making an immediate executive decision with the realization that we couldn’t possibly finish all of it that quickly I sacrificed the remaining cranberry juice and poured the remainder of the vodka in there. Needless to say it disappointed some star guests that attempted to sit with us and guzzle the bottle. Those who were welcome received a subtle eye glance at the carafe of Cape Cod formerly known as cranberry. Unfortunately those who were welcome didn’t maintain the subtlety and simply guzzled out of the serving glass … a wild night indeed.

However, I think my most notable memory of the evening involves myself, Trevor Knight, and Johnny Hazard confined to a very small space together. Lets just say we were pressed together very tightly and the rooms temperature elevated with flash like speed ;)

Staying at the Mongomery Palace was quite the delight. It’s convenient to everything, elegant and plush, and has a great shower head. Yes, I don’t care about the room decorations so much as the shower pressure and temperature in any room. I wouldn’t call me low maintenance but my theory on traveling is that I’m in a city to have fun – not spend the weekend in the room. Rumor has it though that this Luxury Collection experience is becoming a Westin. While Westins are nothing to sneeze at, it’s interesting to wonder why the Starwood line would bring a hotel down a notch.

Sleeping in on Saturday proved problematic as the festivities of the GayVN Awards began promptly (or not) at 4 PM at The Café in the Castro. The red carpet featured a half naked man on stilts. Needless to say when I see a tall man that lean I hope and pray that the old adage about being well hung comes to mind … and he didn’t disappoint. Unfortunately he took my hopes and juxtaposed them by hanging well from the roof top and other various points of interest. C’est la vie.

The pre party was wonderful and I saw some of my favorite colleagues and porn stars. Lars graced us with his international appearance. Mr. Knight had apparently recovered from the evening before and was engaged with the falcon group of Erik Rhodes and new boy toy (toy meant quite literally when you compare them side by side) and of course Roman Heart. The Rentboy group comprised of Rusty, Andy Kirra, Angel and of course the fabulous Brandon Baker wouldn’t arrive until dessert was being served and there was time to score a few last minute rounds at the comp bar. All I have to say is those damned chocolate covered cheesecake balls were gonna be the death of me.

As we left Café, Tory and I were cavorting out the door with super hot porn star Jeremy Hall and his Fierce Dog director Jesse Kiehl. It was of course perfect timing as the rain came down and you would have thought it was a day in Oz with all the queen scattering hoping their make up wouldn’t run and their couture wouldn’t be ruined. Luckily for Tory and I, Jesse had a SUV limo waiting. Why? I don’t know. But getting in the car to drive around the corner (on one way streets mind you so it would have been eight times faster to walk) and be dropped off in front of the theater under the overhang seemed like the right choice.

Then the elitist bullshit began. The theater built decades ago seemed to revert back to extreme segregation. Everyone was allowed in the open bar upstairs; but if you weren’t the right color, the nazis at the velvet ropes un-strategically planted throughout the theater made sure that you were kept in your appropriately hued wristband’s station. This meant TRULY dedicated patrons like RussianRob who had paid $300/person was but a mere mortal for the lowest tier mezzanine and wouldn’t even be allowed to breathe in the orchestra. Happily, he was able to “insist” his way to the front area and sit across from myself and the others. I on the other hand did not wish to engage in insisting and decided to use a breach in the velvet rope to walk AROUND the nazis (no they didn’t notice) and use a strategically chewed piece of gum to stick an orange wrist band on top of my purple one that had only granted me entrance to the ground floor level but not the front 10 rows.

One of the more amusing moments was David Forrest walking in moments before the awards show started. A particularly annoying usher had been slowly but surely kicking people out of seats they had appropriately colored wrist bands for and telling them those seats were in fact “reserved” for late coming VIPs. He had knocked so many people out of their seats that some had figured out his game and others hadn’t so he would tell people to move because the seats were reserved. Those in the know told him to “fuck off, the seats weren’t reserved [and to] find some other idiot to believe that story.” The usher finally found some gullible people in front of us so the entire show was like a DVD extra with commentary from Forrest on each nominee and winner.

To be blunt, the awards show was rather dull. I’m going to try (to no avail) post YouTubes of the monologue and a rather amusing moment with Kathy and Tyler Riggs but that’s really it. Kathy was an awesome hostess and hillarious deserving every inch of her “Honorary Gay” award … mind out of the gutter people she got a rather long sword from NakedSword.com. It was especially awesome of her to go through with the show given the passing of her father just a few days before the event.

Last year at Rage it was very informal and people were throwing ice at certain directors who can’t ever remain nameless and the class level was at a minimum…. the way an awards show honoring gay porn stars SHOULD be. While the fashion was amazing it felt like the suits and other outfits were forced. Roman Heart and Blue Blake found the happy medium with white suits and full length fur pimp coats but others like Damon Phoenix almost seemed to be taking themselves too seriously. It was lots of fun being trashed in such a gorgeous theater surrounded by hot porn stars but it felt too much like the reason I was getting out of LA that weekend (the Academy Awards). What it simply came down to was a deep desire to want to leave in the middle of certain categories to freshen up a drink but the only people ballsy enough to get up from the front row were Michael Lucas (La Dolce Vita won 14 awards) and his best non-sex performance nominee Savannah of Vivid.

The rain did NOT let up during the awards show and after a quick group photo we were on our way. Seven of us crammed into a car built comfortable for four driving through the wet streets of SF each fielding calls from attendees from coast to coast asking “where the fuck is the afterparty?!?” Luckily some of us had a vague recollection and were able to find the Dungeon on a tiny side street.

The highlight of the evening for me was the hour I spent with Richard Winger trying to get the exact dollar amount used to bribe the judges into a clean sweep of fourteen wins for La Dolce Vita. The only quote?

"Dahling, I don't know what you are talking about" with a very mischevious grin. In all seriousness Richard is an amazingly sweet guy and Lucas is very lucky to have him.

The after party was awesome with boys everywhere from cages to slings to jail cells to old fashioned pedestals. Great music in lots of different rooms all made for a great culminating event of the weekend. I stayed late with the boys but ended up leaving a little earlier than planned with Jeremy Hall … although those pictures can’t be posted :)

The last day and a half ..................................................... ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ .........................censored for the sake of national security ........................... ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................................ and I had an awesome time thanks to Russian Rob and his friends. I’m also really happy I got to meet Hayden but we’ll get to that later.

Flights were a nightmare. My friends from New York who had their flights delayed by two days, some flights were cancelled and couldn’t be rescheduled for nearly a week. Thankfully my flight was only delayed a total of two hours but it was definitely a close call. I finally got to to spend one WHOLE day at home in LA. That day was of course spent running errands, doing laundry, cleaning, and catching up on my stories but it was my day at home.

Did I mention how much I LOVED Miami last time I was there? Of course I didn’t because I never blog so my last trip went undocumented. Oh well. Did I mention how much LESS fun Miami is when you have three of your closest travel friends who are now half a step closer to Persona Non Grata status cancel on you at the last minute leading you to forfeit a fabulous reservation at a gorgeous boutique hotel at 12th and Ocean and be forced into staying at the Days Inn at 21st and Collins? ::breath::

It does suck just a little bit but honestly – you just sleep in the hotel so who cares. Now if my friend wasn’t director of Human Resources at the Setai I probably would have killed myself. Conveniently enough, the current most expensive resort in the country (the Setai) is right next door to … well the Days Inn. Offers quite the dichotomy of Spring Break vs. Spring Holiday in the South Beach area. I asked if he could get me a room at a decent price and his response:

“Can you get me a good deal on a room?”
“Oh yeah sure, I can get you half off!”
“Wow, awesome thank you! How much?”
“It’ll still be $800/night.”

Yeah no.

I still got to use all of the amenities and such so that was great. Winter Party was an awesome experience. Most of it does remain a blur but I made some great contacts there with some other escorts that I can HIGHLY recommend for future trips. Gio has one of the most incredibly perfect butts on either coast and has a perfectly toned tanned body. He and Marcel of Montreal were playing pseudo boyfriends that weekend and I can only imagine the hot ass pounding sex they were having all weekend.

The weekend consisted of the usual circuit events like pool parties and beach dances with the late night affairs going strong until the wee hours of the following afternoon. This weekend also featured some fashion shows by 2(x)ist and other American based underwear and clothing lines with models to DIE for. All, thankfully, benefitting AIDS research charities as opposed to a single promoter's wallet.

Short of watching yet ANOTHER reason to say "No" to drugs at the closing party as well as some INCREDIBLY hot boys in and out of my hotel room, the weekend is still a bit of a blur. I remember being coherent to check out the Equinox at South Beach and renting a scooter to get around town in. I also seem to remember getting pointed at for eating a hot dog (foot long if there were any doubts) at the beach party wearing nothing but a speedo. It all just kind of fades into an awesome week in the sun. I made some great friends and reconnected with a bunch of others from around the country.

In truth that’s what circuit parties are to me. Most seem shocked when I tell them that I have no problem going to circuit events and existing strictly on alcohol and redbull. It can definitely be done. It makes it easier for me to meet new people and see the country from a completely different perspective. Oh yeah, and there are always hot half naked boys sending me into Madeline Kahn mode. …

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, WAIT A MINUTE … YEEEEEEEEEEEES.”

After Miami I traveled to serene Fort Myers on the other coast of Florida. Though not the most exciting place in the world it carries its share of cute guys and delicious food with picturesque views. Highlights of the weekend involve pole dancing with a gorgeous nearly bare breasted radio announcer, body shots off of a delicious bartender and hanging out in the back of an iced cream shop – yes that was a highlight.

On the way to the airport I discovered sin … Norman Love chocolate. I thought I’d had some of the best chocolate from around the world but this stuff was simply to die for. Unique truffles and chocolates with flavors like Mojito, Bellini, and Chinese Five Spice. After gorging on some at the store, I had picked out an assortment to occupy myself for the five hour layover I expected in Miami – only to leave them in my host’s car. I have been promised a dry ice shipment that I hope to receive some time before I’m invited back there.

I think the term gate check was invented to piss off people that thought they were getting one step ahead of the “process” by packing their entire trip's luggage into their carry-ons. Ever since my satirical look at the Bush/Plastic Industry conspiracy to obliterate the mile high club and make us spend more on products that we already owned in smaller sizes, I have been making a conscious effort to pack strictly into carry ons no matter how long the trip. Luckily for a trip to sunny Florida, packing just bathing suits and shorts makes that rather easy but there still is the decision what to do with those liquids.

TRAVEL TIP OF THE WEEK BLOG

I’m not high maintenance (oh who am I kidding) I don’t need my entire bathroom with me (hmm, that wont work either) It’s difficult to pack all those toiletries especially when they’re awkwardly sized and such.

Most people (who could use this tip) travel with a laptop/jacket and shoes among the things they bring with them WITH a bag that might contain their liquids. What if you could bring TWO one quart bags violating the TSA’s 3-1-1 rule insisting on 3 ounces in 1 quart bag per 1 passenger. I think 3-2-1 has a better ring to it anyway. Put your shoes and one of your quart Ziplocs, place your bag in between that bin and another bin for your laptop AND another quart bag. By the time (if) TSA notices they wont care anyway and they’ve kept up appearances on the first part of the conveyor preventing two bags going through at once. Eh voila, you too can be high maintenance and bring your entire bathroom with you while not having to check luggage.

Anyway, back to the evils of gate check and me being high maintenance. The same luggage that gained me the respect of the evil stuck up flight attendant in Paris is apparently (to the naked eye) too large for the overhead compartment on a regional jet. Having watched how those bags are treated and what people will do to steal luggage, I’d really rather NOT have my bags out of my control for any length of time. I want to stress to readers that gate check is NOT a requirement … merely a suggestion – unless your bag truly is too big at which point it should have been checked initially. So if you know your bag will fit, stand up for yourself and prove to the airlines that if gay men know ANYTHING it’s that we’re experts at shoveing large things in tight spaces (with or without lube).

Miami International Airport makes me feel like I’m at Ikea and won’t even be getting a decent deal on furniture or design accents. All the twists and turns and corridors made me want to seek out the architect and strangle him. What I particularly loved were the estimated times between terminals while walking. Apparently they were calibrated for the average 60 year old with a cane but the point to me is anyone that would take that long to walk those treks shouldn’t be hoofing those distances trying to get to a flight. Thus, a more efficient public transport between gates in the airport should be installed. Yes, definitely. I’ll come back to Miami when its implemented. I'll wait ....

Eventually I made it home. Luckily for me, Hayden was there apartment hunting so I had my own chauffeur service to pick me up from the airport. We caught up and talked about his new apartment downtown. He’s relocating here to Los Angeles and we’re MORE than happy to have him :) I exposed him to the evils of the Beverly Center and impulse shopping as well as the evils that are rush hour traffic in the city of Los Angeles. More on Hayden very shortly (yes, I’ve said that a few times now).

That weekend featured the one year anniversary of Popular, an event put on by the fantastically over the top socialite of this West Hollywood generation Jonathan Chang. Jonathan always has something wonderful to say to everyone and has got to be hands down one of the nicest people I’ve encountered in this two faced, backstabbing “City of Angels.” The event was a huge success with everyone Popular there and their mother. Janice Dickinson and Chi Chi La Rue had their own personal moments finally meeting and debating who had bigger hair. Boys were nearly naked. Alcohol wouldn’t stop and the music was amazing. Congrats to Popular on a fantastic first year and may there be MANY more!

Scandal in the bar world of Los Angeles. As MJ’s is taken under new ownership, magically a Fire Department/Police raid shuts down the club by …. 11:30!!??! Yes, 11:30. MJ’s has been notorious over the past few months for being the guilty pleasure of most West Hollywood residents. Why a guilty pleasure? Would you want to drive all the way to Silverlake and fight over who has to play sober sister so everyone else can get shit faced drunk and stuff dollar bills up the asses of nearly or mostly unclothed strippers? Well there’s your answer as to why MJ’s was shut down this week. Apparently the new owners didn’t know who to bribe.

Luckily to avoid driving drunk, I finally got to use a service I’ve been wanting to try forever. In the Los Angeles area (and for a small surcharge Malibu), you can call Home James to pick you up and drive you home … IN YOUR OWN CAR! Yes the service features men in suits driving up on foldable scooters which they put in your trunk and drive you home in your own car. Miraculously, they’re all named James and have British accents. Where on earth do they find these guys?

Later that week I had the esteemed pleasure of shouting cat calls via text message at an always hot Aaron Mark as he casually crossed the streets of West Hollywood into one of our chic'est sushi joints, Ari-Ya at Hancock and Santa Monica. What was he wearing? Only the finest of threads(t-shirt and jeans) perfectly outfitted for the maison du maintenant.

We caught up later and had amazing phenomenal earth shattering, hmmm … well … lets just say it was the orgasm of a life time. The boy is flawless and his naiveté to how hot he is makes him that much hotter. Keep up the amazing work Aaron! The next morning I joined him with his travel companion for lunch at Asia de Cuba at the Mondrian. Lunch for me consisted of a Mojito Chicken Sandwich which was unlike any chicken sandwich I’d ever had so kudos to that but the solo-artist star of that meal was the Chocolate Opera Cake. A thin fourteen layers of decadent chocolate and dulce de leche cake covered in even more delicious chocolate frosting all covered with chocolate fudge and caramel. I think I just gained twelve pounds describing it. Of course Aaron seemed to enjoy the lesser calorie option of plantain cake. Curses on his evil will power and eight pack abs.

So I’ve been working really hard on figuring out a way to blog effectively. There’s been a huge pressure for me to get these blogs out regularly if not weekly but it’s something that I can’t do. Maybe I’m just too verbose, too lazy to deal with images and formatting, or just too much of a perfectionist to put up anything that is not perfect quality. But my goal is to start putting up a blog weekly or bi-weekly with give or take half as much content as this entry. Occasionally I’ll blog a particular event or situation as it comes up. This way I wont feel too much pressure to put up a product that I can’t stand behind.

[ rant ] On that note – I sat at Starbucks trying to type this up and got a coffee. Since I practically live there, I haven’t paid for coffee in a couple years now between the friends I’ve made going there daily and having worked with some of them back in my Barista days. What shocked the hell out of me was not being charged by one of the new guys but how MUCH I was charged. When did Starbucks decide it was ok to sell a medium cup of coffee for $1.75. It was outrageous to pay $1.60 when I was selling it and knowing it cost them 3¢ give or take including the coffee, cup, lid, sleeve and labor. Last I checked we haven’t gotten into any wars with coffee supply countries. I mean, the “Brrr Charge” at Jamba Juice because of the orange freeze in Florida is bad enough but yeesh. [ /rant ].

Last night I attended the HooVille dinner that had to be one of the largest yet especially in the eye candy to board member (not to say that the board members couldn’t be eye candy if they wanted) ratio. We ate at the delicious Café deEtoile (affectionately known as Café Twat) at one of the main corners of Robertson/Santa Monica in the gayborhood. In attendance was a mix of message board patrons, escorts, and rentboy VIPS like Angel, Andy Kirra, BARR1965, Ben, bigguyinpasadena, Brandon Baker, EXPAT, Funseeker, JamesK, Jason Renyolds, MJ, Raul Gmanzo, and Rusty. I was too busy taking down attendees to take the minutes but it was an exciting evening none-the-less. Dinner was delicious and a huge extension of gratitude goes out to the board members for taking care of ALL the working boys despite the differential ratio. We sincerely hope that the entertainment value garnered from Angel demonstrating his clap on clap off cackle made it all worth while. Thanks again so much!

It was awesome to finally meet Raul in the flesh as well as his friend MJ who is very new to the industry and a delicious combination of punk meets Abercrombie. It was also great to run into Jason Reynolds who I hadn’t seen since the debauchery that was San Francisco.

The next excursion for our blissful bunch was Mickey’s for some eye candy and to indulge in some Ginch Gonch underwear modeling to celebrate tomorrow’s release of the movie Boy Culture, a relevant story of escorting to be released nation wide in the near future.

My highpoint of the evening beside several gogo boy’s phone numbers was yet another moment or two in private with the Gay society pages Brangelina. Yes we have our own, Benethan . More specifically they are Benjamin Bradley and Ethan Reynolds the socially mainstream hottest gay couple to grace print, TV, webcam since … well … EVER. Dear GOD YUM. OK well Ginch Gonch has in essence come out as a gay label and was smart enough to scoop them up as their spokes models before anyone else could get their hands on them … and I do mean that literally and figuratively. Conveniently enough, they’ve been in LA for appearances every time I’ve been home so I’ve been getting more than my usual online chatting dose of the two. They make a gorgeous couple and have already begun constructing a gay media empire (in my opinion) unparalleled till now.

The promotion was a huge success and underwear was thrown, drinks were bought, aussiebums (and I DON’T mean the underwear) were turned out. And the most important part of the evening … I went to sleep without packing. SHIT. Well I’m on the plane now so it can’t be ALL bad but lets just say I was looking forward to sleeping before my flight. Perhaps waking up early to pack will be a first strike on jet lag. In any respect I always feel better when I haven’t slept if there’s somebody else in my boat. To add to his list of excellent qualities, my roommate (emphasis on roommate have not and will never be boyfriends despite rumor) Justin Masters is an excellent indentured serv….er chauffeur if you need to get to and from LAX at early hours. ::kiss pookie::

And that’s where I am. I’ll try to keep these more current as I now have a good hold on how to balance everything and a plan to be more efficient. I’m going to post just this text now as it appears to be about ten pages in word …. Yikes I need to shut up. I’ll add the pictures and hopefully have the entry presentable by the middle of next week.

FRESH FACE OF THE WEEK BLOG

OK, there is a rule in comedy that once you use a joke three times in the same sketch you're done. Kind of like the proverbial fourth strike as a grace period. Well this is the end of this blog so I think the third use is perfectly fine ;)

Anyway, I hope to make this a regular thing. I’ve been known for representing new faces or fresh talent. Sometimes they’ve been working longer than they tell me or have come and gone. I’m going to reserve this section for three types of guys:Those that are brand new and LITERALLY have only gotten into the industry because they asked for my help getting into it, those who are just starting out and need some exposure, and those that I meet in my journeys that could use a little umph to boost their inboxes.

HAYDEN
Los Angeles
22 5'9 145 Hazel/Blonde 7.5"C
Flydude19@yahoo.com
206.841.1008

Hayden is a gorgeous new guy on the scene who has just moved out of Phoenix to pursue his academics here in Los Angeles. He has a gorgeous face and a tight lean body.

He is (to date) one of my favorite bottoms ever. The boy can take it every which way you want to give it and however long you can keep it up. What isn’t usually the case for such voracious bottoms is that he has an amazing cock and definitely knows how to use it. Perfectly sizeable length at about seven and a half inches, he is thick and succulent with an emphasis on the suck.

What makes him that much better is his laid back boy next door lack of attitude. He’s friendly, fun, and always up for a good time. He is the perfect meal companion and can speak his mind on a variety of interesting topics. He’s starting back up with school in a couple weeks but will be available for travel if the stars are in alignment.

Do not miss out on this guy! He is so sweet and I intended on keeping him all to myself but realized that he does have tuition, Los Angeles rent, and cost of living to deal with.

http://www.maleescortreview.com/index.php?file=escort_review_view&review_id=624&escort_id=106110297